Review: Fantastic Four

Synopsis: Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The four must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.
Director: Josh Trank
Starring: Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell
Release Date: 6th August 2014

Do you remember a few months ago, before the trailer was released, there were rumours that Josh Trank (the director) couldn’t handle the pressure of this movie and displayed apparent appalling behaviour throughout its production? There were a lot of rumours going around the tabloids and speculation that his bad working behaviour ended up with him getting fired from directing an instalment of the new Star Wars franchise.
A little while later, the trailer was released and our fears were suppressed a little because the trailer looked awesome.
Last night we were given the opportunity to see Fantastic Four at a media screening.

To be perfectly blunt, this movie fucking sucked.

Fantastic Four has reached a new low in the superhero genre; it’s ill-conceived, ill-casted and ultimately, ill-fated.
The film is a complete mess with terrible structuring and it fails to show us anything new. The plot is actually a complete bore with a very predictable and hokey script, and it’s attempts at jokes or one-liners don’t translate to on-screen.
One of the many big flaws in this movie is that it has terribly casted. None of the actors feel well-suited or believable in their roles. The chemistry between Kate Mara‘s Invisible Girl and Miles Teller‘s Richard Reed is completely non-existent. Teller feels unequipped to handle being the leading man of a major superhero franchise. He lacks the screen presence and confidence necessary to succeed in this type of blockbuster. Please don’t even get me started on the villain of the movie, Dr. Doom, played by Toby Kebbell, who was just appalling.
The visual-effects seem more suited to concept art than finished product. They don’t feel properly finished or rendered, to the extent where the audience was laughing at some of the more awkward shots (hello, Invisible Woman’s bubble and Human Torch’s flaming body).
The original franchise, released a decade ago, was more enjoyable than the one I sat down to watch last night. There’s no action, no plot, no character development and no drama. It immediately falls to last place among the mecca of superhero films and begs the question whether it’s worth another try (here’s a tip, Fox, it isn’t). Nothing works cohesively in this movie; not the dialogue, the costumes, the cinematography, the direction, the actors. It’s a complete mess.

The flop that is Fantastic Four is an example of the risk that major studios take when they hire young directors who have never worked on big films such as these. Either they become a success (Joss Whedon‘s The Avengers was his first major film, or the Russo Brother‘s on Captain America: The Winter Soldier), or they fail spectacularly much like Josh Trank’s Fantastic Four will.
The best thing that 20th Century Fox can do with this property now is to give it back to Marvel, who in 20-years or so, may actually have a chance at developing this failure of a movie into a more successful franchise.
Or, bury it completely. I promise you, no-one will miss it.

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