Review: Aloha

Synopsis: A celebrated military contractor returns to the site of his greatest career triumphs and re-connects with a long-ago love while unexpectedly falling for the hard-charging Air Force watchdog assigned to him.
Director: Cameron Crowe
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, John Krasinski
Release Date: 4th June 2014

At the risk of sounding cynical, I have very few positive things to say about Cameron Crowe‘s Aloha.
Actually, I have no positive things to say about it.
Aloha is an absolute mess of a movie that feels as if it was made off a rough treatment or first draft rather than a polished script. It’s awkward and confusing. Literally confusing. There must have been a ton of deleted scenes because there is a lot of dialogue that doesn’t make any sense and the movie has no real structure at all. You couldn’t tell what Bradley Cooper‘s character actually did for a living or why he was in Hawaii or who he worked for. When HA prodded me for answers during the movie, I couldn’t give them to her. When I prodded her for answers that she also didn’t have, I felt almost relieved. I wasn’t the only one who didn’t understand anything that was happening!
I wish I could say that the other characters and their relevant subplots were more fleshed out but that would be a lie.

Bradley Cooper has no leading man presence in this movie and Emma Stone, usually a force on screen, felt lackluster and tired yet, excruciatingly over-the-top at the same time. Bill Murray feels like he doesn’t want to be there at all (actually, why was he even there?), and John Krasinski is hugely underused and remains completely silent for the entire film. Fine, that’s a lie. He say’s about 10 words and that is it. It’s like Cameron Crowe saw an episode of The Office and decided to see how good John Krasinski’s facial reactions really were. The only person who feels like they belong in this vapid mess is Rachel McAdams because it is another interpretation of the only role she ever plays.

It’s hard to comprehend that this is the same director who brought us Jerry Maguire, Say Anything and Almost Famous. When I think about that, I almost can’t believe that during this movie I found myself slouched down in my seat, wishing for it to be over.

A real disappointment.

Pair it with: A glass of 2005 Elizabethtown.

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